This weekend is the big annual festival in my town.
It's nice enough, I suppose, but over the years my observation has been that it seriously inconveniences the entire downtown area merely to afford local patricians the opportunity to indulge in a lot of self-congratulatory exclusive socializing and out-of-town plebeians the opportunity to come and behave badly in someone else's backyard.
And no, I'm not at all cynical about this exemplar of small-town Americana, thank you very much.
However, the one big advantage of this yearly annoyance is that a few short blocks from my house a whole tent city of food stands springs up, a festival of excess sodium, saturated fat, and empty calories that makes putting up with the whole weekend almost worthwhile. For years I've stuffed a few plastic grocery bags in my pocket and strolled down the street to buy a carry-out dinner from the assortment of boardwalk-style cuisine offered.
This year, as usual, I walked through the whole food arcade to scope out the evening's menu, then went back to hit the stands with the most appealing possibilities. My menu, though, is pretty traditional at this point. An Italian sausage sandwich with peppers, onions, and sauce. A surprisingly good crabcake sandwich with extra tartar sauce. A new dessert this year, a kebob made of chocolate-covered strawberries. Deep-fried dill pickles.
Wait a minute. Where are the deep-fried dill pickles? Twice I walked the length of the food arcade, sure that I must just have overlooked them. I love dill pickles, and you can't find them deep-fried just anywhere. In fact, I can't find them deep-fried anywhere at all, because they seem to have disappeared from the festival food menu.
@#$%&*!
Who knew that deep-fried dill pickles have apparently had their fifteen minutes of fame? My tolerance level for this whole ridiculous festival has just dropped precipitously.
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